Ideal Self

I'm in a psychology class right now because that's one of the options for a marketing degree. This made me happy. Psychology is interesting. I thought I'd share a little bit about what we did today and how it got me thinking.

We did a Venn Diagram of "Real Self vs. Ideal Self." As the terms imply, "real self" means how you are now, whereas "ideal self" means how you would like to be. I began adding things like "unmotivated" versus "seeing opportunities to do what I love," and of course there were things that overlapped such as "being married to Jon." I've struggled over the years, particularly recently, about what I want to do with my life--what I want to be. I'm married, so I've got one thing down. I know I want kids, so I don't have to worry about that. But as far as career, I'm sort of stuck. I should be deciding this. I only have a year and a half of college left. I'm taking a business degree, but I don't want to be a businessperson.

I have a lot of interests: music, making things, acting, art, writing, child care, tutoring, flower arranging, and even stand-up comedy (that is one thing I have not had the boldness to try yet). There is a huge number of things I could do with these interests, and I've thought of many of those things. The problem is that my resources are limited, so I'm going to have to be creative to come up with something that works. I also don't want to do just one thing. That's boring. I'd love to be a singer/writer/actress/painter. But how will I get there?

So I finally decided what I want to be, and it's not what I expected.
Here's what I want to be:

Are you ready for this?

What I want to be is...

Ambitious.

Surprised? Maybe not. I tend to be unmotivated because sometimes I don't feel a lot of support. Jon likes playing and singing with me sometimes, but I rarely get to do crafts with people, and Tell City, Indiana doesn't exactly have a community theater program. To overcome these kinds of things one has to have ambition. That's how people reach their goals and achieve their dreams. I feel a conviction to do some kind of performing because that's a talent God gave me. Because of that, I'm going to need all the motivation and ambition I can handle to do what He wants me to do.

My request to everyone who reads this is that you pray for me. If you have something you want me to pray about, I'll certainly return the favor.

Thanks for reading!

What do you want to be?